Even though romance is the biggest selling book genre by far, romance novels and reading romance still get a bad rap. Some suggest they are not realistic or humorous in their descriptions or the characters or situations are unlikely. Well just a side note, I would like to say that everything I have written is realistic, as I use real situations as my inspiration and my descriptions are also always based on reality. So now I have that off my chest lets get onto the good stuff.
Back to the idea that romance novels are a useless indulgence. Okay I didn’t really say that, but some people certainly think it. I want to dispute this notion and give you seven amazing things reading romance can do for your relationship and your sex life.
A romance story may be exactly what your relationship needs. If you follow these seven ideas, I guarantee your relationship will be stronger and more fun.
1. Romance novels can help make you both more empathetic.
By reading about other couple’s feelings and struggles, you and your partner will get a better understanding of how various things make the other partner feel. This in turn helps you both understand your own and your partners feelings.
It is scientifically proven that those who read a lot (of all genres) make better partners. Studies suggest this is because readers, particularly fiction readers, demonstrate a better ability to empathise with others and understand other people’s thoughts, feelings, and world view.
Empathy is crucial in relationships—it is linked to shorter, less intense arguments and more chance of offering forgiveness. It helps ensure a smoother process when making joint decisions and helps a couple have a happier and longer relationship overall.
2. Reading about relationships helps you better communicate in yours.
Romance stories always involve complex issues and conflict is a huge part of that. The conflict is what drives the story but while it entertains you it can also teach you. Reading about other couples fights and misunderstandings, cross wires and confusions, opens you up to how miscommunications can happen and allow you to come up with ways to avoid such situations in your own relationship.
Reading about how the couples work through their issues also gives you a many useful tools to use in your own life. You can experience how someone else deals with something and then evaluate if it was the best way to do so or not. You will also learn new ways to approach a situation that could help you in your own life. You will come across ways to deal with things that you may not have previously thought of or understood.
Arguably One of the most important elements of a relationship is the sexual intimacy. Reading romance can open the communication between you and your partner about your need and desires in the bedroom. By reading about it, we often feel more comfortable about discussing it with our partners. Reading romance exposes us to many different desires and needs that come up in relationships. It can give us the information we might be lacking, while also showing us that there are many different things that people need and desire both romantically and sexually and it’s okay to have those desires. It gives us a sense of normalcy, making it easier to address in our own relationships.
3. Romance books can inspire fun fantasies to share.
Reading romance can open the door to a plathora of wonderful, fun experiences. There are a lot of different types of romance but exotica in particular, are filled with sexual tension, titillating foreplay and steamy sex scenes, giving us an insight into a world we may not have accessed before. Again, it shows us it’s okay to enjoy various fun sexual activities. They can open our minds (and bodies) to things that we were not aware of. Giving us the confidence to experiment and expand our sexual limitations.
Long term couples often feel they have lost the ‘spark’ or their sexual intimacy has lapsed into nothingness. This is nothing to be ashamed of, years of children, homeownership, career aspirations and just life, take so much of our time and energy, the relationship often comes in last.
But romance novel give us hope. They can give you new ideas to spice up your love life, not just sexually but romantically as well. It can give you a whole new perspective, not to mention get your juices flowing.
So, get ready to have some fun!
4. Romance novels are the perfect balance between relaxation and sparking intimacy.
My husband often asks me to read some of the romance book I’m reading to him. It is a perfect way to relax together, but if you pick the right part of the story (such as a saucy love making scene) it is bound to make you and your partner very lustful which is a fun way to get in the mood. Maybe you could even act out the scene you just read.
The content of a romance provides the perfect balance of fun, relaxation, intimacy and sexiness, which I assure you that will put you both in a loving, sweet and sexy mood. Even if it only leads to some snuggling to bring you closer to each other, it is worth the effort.
5. Romance stories can boost both of your moods.
Unlike real life, and unlike a lot of fiction, romance novels almost always guarantee one thing: lots of intimacy and a happy ending. Reading a story together where the soul mates find each other in the end, many of the conflicts are resolved, and everyone finds their one true love will, at the very least, put you and your partner in a much better mood.
One the other hand, you can learn many things about relationships, communication and intimacy along the way, with lots of opportunities to put the book down and make your own bedroom story 😉
6. Reading romance can help you navigate your own relationships.
The key conflict in romance novels is, obviously, romantic. Couples fight and betray each other, secrets are told and lies and uttered, hearts are broken and partners torn apart, but all of that drama aside, every pair finds a way back to each other. Reading about the breakdown of other relationships and the resolutions eventually find in the end can help you and your partner get to the bottom of your own relationship troubles. Nothing can teach you what to do — or what not to do — than other people’s dysfunction.
7. Romance novels will give you expectations to strive for.
Romance challengers all say the same thing — romance novels give people unrealistic expectations about love and sex — but speaking from experience, they couldn’t be more wrong. Reading about happy endings, sweeping romances, and epic love stories, especially with your partner, won’t give you unrealistic expectations, but rather goals for which to strive for.
Many times throughout my relationship with my husband (which is coming up for 28years, yes we were babies when we got together 😉) I can honestly say that reading romance has given me tools to mend or strengthen our relationship. Even saving it a few times. No exaggeration!
Who says that you and your partner can’t find a happy ending of your own? You both deserve the very best, and reading about others finding it will encourage, not discourage, you from finding it for yourselves.
As a writer of romance, I also research and talk a lot to real people about their relationships and how they deal with various situations, good, bad and ugly. I use this knowledge as well as my own experiences to write about my characters relationships.
I very rarely indulge my characters with unrealistic or totally impossible situations. My stories are generally based on a version of someone’s reality.
So personally, I believe that reading romance has way more positive implications than negative, plus it’s fun. So get started now, read some of our short stories with or without your partner, you won’t regret it!